Facing it.

I wasn't sure I wanted to see it. In fact, I had been avoiding looking at the DVD given us when we visited Houston Methodist Neurological Clinic last March. I guess I didn't want to have to look at all of those patients with advanced ALS, or see pictures of the kind of treatments that are used in various stages. However, for some reason we sat down and watched for better than an hour a well-done presentation of the disease.
There was good general information; tips for care-givers, given by at least some of the people we had met at Methodist. As I thought, it was hard to watch...and after wards Barb and I hugged and cried. Of course, we don't know the exact nature of he progress of my particular case, but the usual process was there. It was time for a 'praise check'. Barb rightly mentioned that I had had such generally good health all of these 74 years. ( I would have thought this to be flip from anyone else, but I was glad she felt that way.) We stopped and prayed together, and reaffirmed what we already knew: His grace is, and will be sufficient for each day. And somehow there will be blessings that come from all of it. (2 Cor. 12:9)span style="font-weight:bold;">

Lost Articles

I'm not sure how I will deal with (or am dealing with), loss. They say we go through various stages. First, denial, then bargaining, next anger, depression and finally acceptance. I am not sure where I am in this process. (I think I would add another category, "frustration'). So far the losses are not extreme. It is mainly the loss of much of the dexterity in my right hand and forearm, which cuts greatly into my passion for playing my horns. It had been such a joy after laying off from major playing for 40 years to be able to get back at it through the church and the Metrognomes big band.
I'm still playing, but sense that the time may quickly come when it just won't work anymore. (I think this thought seems to hurt my wife even more than it does me.) my backup plan, which I started a year ago, was to take a shot at big band arranging. (Our band leader, Doug Oatley, has been a great encouragement in this.) However,now my work on the music computer program also is beginning to be compromised by my bum hand.
Scary on the surface! Where to find an outlet for this need to express myself musically? I know all of this must sound like a small thing in the face of people's more pressing problems, or for that matter what my be yet down the road of my illness; but I guess I just had to express my frustration,,,knowing full well that I can easily forget that God is more creative yet. That where there is a wall, as the psalmist once assured the believers:"By my God I have leaped over a wall."(Ps.18:29)